Thoughts About Motherhood — Funny AND All too Real

Here’s some thoughts on what it means to be a Mom. Enjoy!!

“I’ve never wrestled a rabid racoon on speed, but I have tried removing a splinter from the foot of a hysterical four-year-old.”

“Let’s get married and have kids so instead of a lazy Saturday morning, we can panic because a sports uniform didn’t get put in the dryer.”

“That moment when your two week old baby is sleeping and you wonder if its possible to take a nap in the shower while you eat lunch…”

“When the husband coughs the minute the wife gets the baby to sleep is why spouses are the number one suspect in homicide cases.”

“I loved it when my kids told me they were bored. Like watching me stand in front of a sink of dirty dishes was a good place to go for ideas on how to have a good time.”

“I’ve decided to stop punishing my children by saying: “Never mind! I’ll do it!”

“I always told my kids having a weird mother builds character.”

“Based on the amount of laundry I used to do, I am convinced there were people living in my house I never saw.”

“I forever tell my grown children…If at first you don’t succeed try doing it like I told you to do it from the start.”

“Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is suspicious.”

And finally— the Mother’s Wish: “May you have a child just like you someday!”

And memories of an event with each of my three, now grown and wonderful. But there were times:

Daughter #1: “You are the meanest mother in the world!” Me: “And proud of it!”:

Daughter #2: Sitting at the dinner table all alone because she wouldn’t eat her vegetables. Me: “You know there are starving children in Africa who would love to eat those.” She, lifting up her plate: “Let’s take this to the post office and send it to them.”

Only Son with his head in the refrigerator after coming home from school: “Isn’t there any good food?” Me: “I just went to the store. It’s full of good stuff.” Him: “I don’t see it!”

Now that I’m a Grandma this is my favorite saying to my child when one of my grandchildren is being “naughty”…”Ah! I just love being with you and…..lShe so reminds me of you at that age!”

TO ALL MOMS AND GRANDMAS ——HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!